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Re:my love for T. » bird in the sky

Posted by Tamar on September 19, 2005, at 17:23:50

In reply to Re:my love for T., posted by bird in the sky on September 19, 2005, at 13:20:36

> I have this bad habit. I wonder if anyone else does. Probably not. I sometimes feel real horny and desirous of some connection. That's the best way i can explain it now. I masturbate and then when almost to come i call someone up (hopefully a recording) and let them hear me come. Sometimes i do it crying instead of coming. It's a bad habit i know, and i'm trying to break it. I have already told 2 people that i am the one that had been calling because it really seemed to bother them that they didn't know who i was. Luckily they didn't have me arrested or tell my husband. Now that i am seemingly oversexed i have this desire all the time and am hardly able to control it. I know i am going to get responses from you guys like "you had better control it! " or something along those lines, but what i really want to know, is whether anyone else has ever done this? bird

I haven’t done the thing you describe, though I have done plenty of sexual things I’m not very proud of!

It does sound like it’s become a habit, and maybe one you might think about dealing with, because one day someone might tell your husband… I can imagine that people would be a bit freaked out by it. It wouldn’t bother me if one of my friends did it to me, but if I didn’t know who was calling that would freak me out. I guess I would assume someone was stalking me or something.

I don’t know a lot about breaking sexual habits, but a technique that might work is to focus on a new and different fantasy that doesn’t involve phoning someone just before you come. It could be anything you like (possibly involving a picture of your therapist, if you have a picture), but ideally do it in a room without a phone and leave your cell phone in another room. You might need to plan it because otherwise you might be tempted to revert to your bad habit. And I would suggest you do it fairly regularly until the new fantasy replaces the old one.

I know the feeling of being overcome with desire; I went through that about a year ago. It’s a bit frightening sometimes; you don’t always feel in control. I talked a bit about it to my therapist in fairly general terms and he was very helpful. It was quite a relief to talk about it; he didn’t run screaming from the room and he didn’t act as if I was a pervert. After a while it settled down: I don’t feel constantly horny any more, and when I do feel horny I feel much more comfortable about it.

Good luck.





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