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Re: Almost left a message for my T , but couldn't happyflower

Posted by cricket on August 29, 2005, at 10:00:16

In reply to Re: Almost left a message for my T , but couldn't cricket, posted by happyflower on August 27, 2005, at 10:36:24

Like he loves gardening and so do I, he loves a lot of the same music as me. But why didn't he disclose this stuff to me when he KNEW it about me. Why did he wait?

Well maybe because you had some urgent issues that needed attention. Now that a lot of that has been resolved, there is room for other things.

> I don't feel like he has stopped being my therapist, he is still helping me a great deal. I don't feel he is seducing me at all. I admit there is an attraction between us, but I would be totally shocked if he ever acted on it. His boundries have relaxed some, but I don't feel he is crossing anything. All I know is that I really like him as a person, now that I know a more about him. If we were not married, and he wasn't my T, I would 100% pursue him. But reality sometimes sucks. I am scared of liking him too much and getting close to him during therapy and then losing all of that after I am done. I am so confused about all of this.
> >
Now that you describe it more clearly, it doesn't sound like he's really crossing any boundaries. It sounds like many other people's therapy except you have the added spark of mutual attraction. So, they're just feelings, right? Nothing wrong with those on either side, I would say.

And why should you have to lose it? You might need to end formal therapy at some point but I think that many therapists don't have a problem with a former client checking in from time to time.
I guess the only way I would see you losing anything is if feelings started turning into actions. Then you might gain a lover but you'd lose a therapist.

I don't know about you but I've had plenty of lovers that never did me much good but I've only had one therapist so far. So if I was you, I'd stick with him as therapist. :-)




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