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Re: Progress with the Ego States... Pfinstegg

Posted by daisym on August 27, 2005, at 19:52:23

In reply to Progress with the Ego States..., posted by Pfinstegg on August 27, 2005, at 10:58:25

I think what resonates with me the most is that feeling of it being absolutely necessary to allow the different states to talk and yet feeling completely nuts as you do it. I've asked a few times if this isn't "just" my way of not owning the feelings, the sadness or especially the anger and pushing it off on to a different part of me, as if to say, "SHE feels like this" but I don't. I'm a good girl.

But it is so real. And my therapist always encourages me to respect those feelings and to talk about them in whatever way I want to. He openly asks if any other feelings (from another part of me) are hanging around. And we've talked about who gets triggered by what,etc. It is a weird concept, frozen feelings or encapsulation of age states, and I think it makes some of the working through very painful because you are actually going back and feeling it all again. Even with support and caring, it still hurts.

I keep hoping I'll get past wanting complete freedom from the memories held by those little girls and begin to be able to see their strengths and how they contributed to the good parts of who I am now.

I wish there was more research to read about this. I imagine it must be fairly common, but perhaps not, given that most people don't go to therapy more than once or twice a week. It would be hard to give each piece time and attention, and boy, they sure demand it! When I was having a melt down on tuesday about cutting back, my therapist said, "she just isn't going to let you get away with that." And he was right. It was the youngest part of me who was terrified the most and the adult part that thought *I* was being ridiculous.

Have you found physiological responses to supressing an age state? Or in letting one come through? This has just started to happen for me.




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