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Re: Why am I so incompetent? Ľ cricket

Posted by Tamar on August 27, 2005, at 5:20:40

In reply to Re: Why am I so incompetent? Ľ Tamar, posted by cricket on August 26, 2005, at 12:29:01

> Oh Tamar.
>
> I think I read somewhere that you only did therapy for 6 months. Is that right? Was it once a week or more often?

Yes, it was six months. And it was mostly once a week, though from time to time it was two weeks, and once it was an incredibly long four weeks!

> It just seems like such a short time to get anything accomplished. I don't think I told my therapist my name in the first six months I was there :-)

I was so depressed when I started therapy and I knew it would have to be a short term thing so I forced myself to say lots of stuff that I probably wouldnít have said so soon in long term therapy. It was pretty intense. I did feel quite quickly that I could trust him, so that helped of course. And I feel that I made a huge amount of progress in quite a short time.

> I guess I'm a little confused.
>
> Why can't you call your therapist up and just say, "I'm not sure what's going on with me, but you keep on popping into my head and I was wondering if I could see you again for a few sessions."

Iíve thought about doing that. Part of whatís stopping me is that Iím not really depressed. And also I think Iím trying to make it through the grieving process; I think I spend a lot of time in denial, and I think moving toward accepting can only happen if I donít see him again. The thought of seeing him again is part of the denial.

Iím also starting to think that Iím finding it a bit hard because getting so much done in six months meant having a fairly intense transference going on, which on reflection seems almost inevitable in the circumstances. But we never talked about it; I think he was using methods and techniques that are supposed to keep the focus of therapy away from transference. So I guess Iíve been trying to work through that since termination. And thatís probably not ideal. I suppose I could see him specifically to try to deal with that. But the idea of seeing him specifically to resolve transference issues is frankly terrifying! Iíd rather eat my own ears.

But of course, I might have got it all backwards or somethingÖ


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