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You are not a dork! » happyflower

Posted by Tamar on August 26, 2005, at 13:00:12

In reply to I THINK I AM JUST A DORK (nm), posted by happyflower on August 26, 2005, at 12:02:16

Hey Happyflower,

I think I've been in a similar place to the place you're in now. The longing, and the hope of seeing him outside therapy (at the gym in your case), the desire both to see him and not to see him… it sounds familiar to me.

You sound so sad. I'm so sorry.

If he's disclosing a lot and letting your sessions run over, I can imagine you might feel quite conflicted. It must be wonderful and scary at the same time. If you're anything like me you might be wondering what he's thinking, and how he feels about you, and what his thoughts and feelings might mean and where they might lead.

I think other people are right about discussing the boundaries with him. If I were in your shoes I’d feel afraid, and I’d worry that he’d stop disclosing things. And perhaps there’s some truth in that. But I think that actually having the discussion should give you a sense of relief. I worry that if you carry on without saying anything you’ll end up having a kind of secret from him that will get in the way of your therapy. By a secret, I mean you might want to let things continue the way they are, without knowing where they might be going, which means you can’t discuss it, because to talk about it would be to jinx it, but not talking about it makes you very insecure because you don’t know how he feels or what he thinks.

Maybe I’ve got this all wrong… but I worry that what’s happening at the moment isn’t really helping you.





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