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Re: Almost left a message for my T , but couldn't happyflower

Posted by daisym on August 25, 2005, at 19:53:09

In reply to Almost left a message for my T , but couldn't, posted by happyflower on August 25, 2005, at 16:14:35

I do that all the time...hear his voice, freak out and hang up. I'm glad he doesn't have caller ID (it's a service). I'm betting that's pretty normal.

As I read your post I thought about "In Session" and her research that said one of the most common precursors to a boundary violation was increased self-disclosure. So I thought...hmmm...perhaps you need to tell him you've noticed this shift and you wonder what it means.

But as I continued to read and you said, "I thought I was almost done" I could see where things might feel more relaxed and yet you worry more about how much you like him and how attached you are. Because if you like him too much and have to stop seeing him, termination will be that much harder. When you talk about shying away from him, it sounds like you are doing that today because of the phone call. But in sessions you are still open and honest and working hard. Maybe your psyche is telling you that the safety and boundaries of the office are very important to you. And since it has felt different since you started seeing him at the gym, that safety might be more shaken than you think. I could be all wet too...

I know it would be hard, but this seems really important to talk about. It might help you not have any unanswered questions or fantasies when you end. Good luck!




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