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Re: If it were next session

Posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2005, at 19:36:46

In reply to Re: If it were next session Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2005, at 19:22:57

>I've lost Bunty, I've lost Harry, I've lost Daddy. I've lost one best friend to death, another to moving. If I get better and don't need him I'll lose the last thing that's important to me. If I even need him less or with less intensity, I'll be losing the last thing that's important to me.

If you get better... Then I don't think you will view it as a loss. Or, even if you do appreciate that you are losing some things you will also appreciate that you are gaining some other things and so the loss won't feel so bad.

Is it... That you think you need to feel that way about someone in order to deserve their affection or something like that??

(Tell me to go take a running jump whenever you like)

I'm just trying to understand...

I wonder...

Katherine Mansfield once said:

'Why is it that we are so fond of the strong emotions? ... Because they make us feel alive'

I think I do feel this way about people at times...

Nobody in the real world...

But I feel that way about my idealisation of some people...

And then I try not to idealise

Because if I idealise then I'll only come to devalue as I come to consider they have fallen short of my ideal

(And the consequence is bad feelings)

It does feel wonderful to contemplate the ideal though...

It helps me feel alive...

But if it interfeares with a connection you could have with other people

(e.g., your husband, your son)

Then I think that that is a shame...




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