Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: What if..... » cricket

Posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2005, at 15:22:04

In reply to What if....., posted by cricket on August 25, 2005, at 11:49:44

> So for three years now, I have assumed that my therapist, even if very competent, is rather indifferent to me. He treats me because that is his job. He would be happy if I disappeared. He completely forgets I exist from week to week.

Thats gotta feel pretty bad :-(

> For three years, I’ve been looking for evidence that above assumptions are correct. And despite, my being willing to interpret almost anything in favor of my assumption, I really haven’t found any solid evidence that the above assumption is true.


> So what if I just assumed something different?


> What if I assume that he cares about me? He treats me, despite the fact that he could readily get easier, better-paying patients, because he likes me and likes the challenge I present? He doesn’t forget my existence until he sees my face on Tuesday afternoon, but I pass through his mind from time to time and he ponders ways to help me?

And thats gotta feel a lot better :-)

> So even if I spend the next three years, looking for evidence that the above assumptions are correct, I suspect that I won’t find any evidence that he cares either.

Though to just be a little bit picky...
Instead of looking for evidence that supports a hypothesis one is supposed to look for evidence that disconfirms a hypothesis.
But that doesn't matter so much
(because you can revise auxillary assumptions - write evidence off as him having a bad day etc - ad infinitum.)

> So I’ll never really know one way or the other.


> Set of #1 assumptions certainly feel safer. But after three years of getting nowhere with them, is it time to try something different? Even just for the heck of it.


> So what’s the harm in trying #2? Even if the assumptions are wrong, what does it matter? What will happen if I assume he cares and at then some point I find evidence that proves I am wrong? Well then I will change my assumption at that point

> But in the meantime, faced with the lack of any evidence…

> Is this stupid? Sort of like believing in God, even though you really don’t, because it makes you feel better?

Oh no no no. I think what you have figured is great. Really really great :-) Sounds like the first step with respect to trust to me.

> I guess I am curious if there will be any changes in our interactions if I just go to therapy assuming he cares.

I think so.
I think that the assumption that he doesn't has coloured your thinking / interpretation of what he says etc more than you probably realise.

Trust is hard.
But this sounds like a positive move to me




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:alexandra_k thread:546520