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Re: Yesterday a part came in therapy:( JenStar

Posted by kerria on August 25, 2005, at 2:10:13

In reply to Re: Yesterday a part came in therapy:( kerria, posted by JenStar on August 25, 2005, at 0:18:29

i try to do everything T's way. There is no other way. i have tried to use T's suggestions to communicate but without much success because of the pain it causes or because of switching. There are no expectations that were arranged that i don't do.
i've followed T's suggestions to my hurt- by writing journal emails. T would like me to 'ask inside' more often but it's very very difficult to do that. it's still hard to think of myself as having parts, it's very scary and unsetting to have many opposing viewpoints on everything. It feels like a confusing mess- because when you know- THEN what do you do. Sometimes there's no answer.

If you feel divided there's so much stress and insecurity inside. Especially if it's about major issues in life.

Many times i've talked to T- about why he says "Find someone else." Over and over i told him how horrible it makes me feel when he says that.

If he's frustrated- how do you think i am?
T has to bear with me for just 110 min a week but i have all the time . It's so difficult to be alone with out any help and then have your only source of help say "Go somewhere else, then." during the short time you see him.
He isn't my only source of help- church is. i'm misunderstood a lot though.

DID is a hard disorder to have because it makes people have opposing parts. There's no solution to solve disagreements inside if there is no one in charge. i don't have a 'host' or charge person.

i wish i could sleep.




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