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Re: in love with therpist isla

Posted by Jazzed on June 14, 2005, at 21:59:47

In reply to Re: in love with therpist, posted by isla on June 14, 2005, at 16:56:52

> Hi Ilsa,
> I have responded to a few of you but I guess it's easier to just do it once, rather then to send all the babblemail?

Yep, it is easier to just post here, unless it's private.

> 2. Yes he knows how angry I feel about him interrupting, and we have discussed referrals many times but he still refuses. He says I can ask my family doctor for a referral if I need to but then I will never "finish the story".

Says you will never finish the story if you move on to someone else? Geeze that sounds an awful like the doc I left who messed me up so much. When I finally left him, he said, "you're not leaving, you'll never leave me, you'll be back!" I never went back. If nothing less, he sounds pretty arrogant.

> 3. My reason for wanting to leave is pretty much directly because of how I feel about him which he also knows. He tells me it will happen with other doctors.

It might. Have you thought of trying a female therapist?

>I told him that the main reason for me coming in is so I can spend time with him.

Do you ever discuss anything other than therapy issues during your appts.? What did you say to him when you told him you loved him? Does he act in a seductive manner with you?

>He knows all this, but I guess I get confused because he says it's invitational for me to call him whenever I want and however many times,

So, does he let you come in the same day you call? Is he busy, or have lots of open appts? My doc is so busy he gets booked months in advance. Is he saying that these "invitationals" are a good thing? For you or for him?

> 4. Is it normal to fight alot?

I don't think it's normal to "fight", maybe disagree, esp. if you've been with the same T for a long time. What do you fight over? (other than what you mentioned, and how has he helped you with that? Do you have a lot of weight to lose? I don't think it seems appropriate to end a session by bringing the weight up.

> 5 we were arguing about something so stupid, it doesn't even have to do with my depression. It was about couples who have age diffrences.

How old are you and how old is he? Were you making the case for the ability of the two of you to make it as a couple?

>when I need to rebook but he left a message on my answering machine with an alternative appointment (the next day!) To which I had to call back and say no.

Wow, sounds like he has a problem if he has to call and leave a message with another appt. Do you get the feeling he also has feelings for you? It will be interesting to see how long he can go w/o hearing from you, but hand in there. Are you actively looking for a new T. That would help keep your mind off of him.

> 6. maybe it's just me being a complete weirdo about stuff.

I don't know, sounds like there were some kind of strange things going on in your therapy that were kind of unusual.

> Sorry guys, I'm just obsessed with the guy and I just want to get over it. In his defence I should say that he really has helped me alot, through many painful things and I feel like I need him to help me be normal. I can call him anytime, I can reschedule at anytime. He lets me come in for evening appts. so I don't miss work. If I miss an appt. and I don't tell him I just have to buy him a coffee. All these things keep me there.

In a lot of ways he does sound like a dream T. How long were you in therapy with him. Do you know, is he married, kids? I only ask because I'm wondering how much of a life he has outside the office.

> Thank you to all of you who responded. For some of you I may have just been babbling on and on. I just miss him and am stressed. It's nice to have someone you can say anything to . I guess I'm just afraid because he has the power to hurt me so much.

I hope you can find someone new who you can work more easily with, and that you don't have such strong feelings for. I know it's hard to separate, so post whenever, someone seems to always be here. Keep us posted on how this goes.





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