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Re: Do Over fallsfall

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2005, at 16:44:13

In reply to Do Over, posted by fallsfall on June 14, 2005, at 10:52:40

> Let me tell you what I know of your situation, so we are sure I have the details right.

Yeah. I'm sorry it gets all complicated :-(

>You have a Uni Counselor who is very nice and supportive, but really doesn't have the training to deal with the types of issues that you have. You've been trying to get funding to see someone who *does* have the training to help you. This therapist you saw was the person who was named as being someone who does have that training.

Yup, thats all correct.

>But the funding was turned down. So you went to see her anyway (willing to pay). But she had gotten information from your pdoc that the funding had been turned down, so she was taking the next step to appeal that so that she could see you and she could be paid by someone other than you. But you wanted to get to know her to see if it was worth going through all of the effort to get the funding. How am I doing?

Ok. Thats pretty much correct too - but the order is a bit out. We were still getting the application to the funding committee together when I made the appoitment to see her. I did say to her that I thought it would probably be turned down and she looked a little suprised. It has been since then that the funding was turned down. She doesn't know about that - to the best of my knowledge. I haven't contacted her since the appoitment.

I was going to. Just to tell her that it was turned down. But then I worried about my motivation in doing that. In some obscure hope she would see me anyway. And thats not fair.

> Your Uni Counselor is not going to be able to give you what you need (not because she is lazy or a bad person - but she doesn't have the training). She helps you to make it through the days, but she isn't going to be able to make things *better*. So I think you need to stick with her in that supportive capacity until you are settled with someone who does have the training (which you aren't right now).


> This new therapist may be very different if the two of you have the same goals. Don't give up on her yet. I agree that it doesn't speak so well for her that she didn't start the session with "Why are you here?", but that doesn't mean that she is hopeless.

Yeah. Despite all that... I think she seems ok.

> What would you think about calling for another appointment with her and telling her that you will pay - so you don't want her to worry about the funding right now. Tell her that you need to talk to her to see if she would be a good fit for you. That you need to know that so you can decide how hard to fight for funding etc. Tell her that you think the two of you had different agendas, and that you would like to have an opportunity to ask her to work on your agenda for a session. Just one session.

I suppose I could...
But then I'd be terrified that nothing would work out.
The next step might have to be to launch an inquirey which takes up to two years. I won't even be here (in NZ) in two years time. I might be able to get a p-doc at community mental health. But the external funding is trickier.

But nothing risked, nothing gained.
Maybe I'll do that.
I'll just have to wait for my next pay.
Maybe I'll write something too.
To give her at the end.
Just in case it turns out hard to communicate with her.

> I think that your reaction during the session is indicative of the issues that you have. So you don't have to apologize for your actions. If you didn't have problems, then you wouldn't have gone to see her to begin with.

Thank you.
I really do think...
I'm doing the best I can.
Which is why it is so hard when people say I'm not.

> But whatever happens, you were honestly YOU during that session. That *IS* the ONLY requirement for therapy.





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