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Do Over

Posted by fallsfall on June 14, 2005, at 10:52:40

In reply to judgment alexandra_k, posted by badhaircut on June 14, 2005, at 9:54:26

Alex,

I'm so sorry that your appointment with the therapist didn't go well. It sounds like the two of you had very different agendas - and that is a sure fire way to make it not go well. So, don't blame yourself for that. The situation was set up to fail. But that doesn't mean you should give up.

Let me tell you what I know of your situation, so we are sure I have the details right. You have a Uni Counselor who is very nice and supportive, but really doesn't have the training to deal with the types of issues that you have. You've been trying to get funding to see someone who *does* have the training to help you. This therapist you saw was the person who was named as being someone who does have that training. But the funding was turned down. So you went to see her anyway (willing to pay). But she had gotten information from your pdoc that the funding had been turned down, so she was taking the next step to appeal that so that she could see you and she could be paid by someone other than you. But you wanted to get to know her to see if it was worth going through all of the effort to get the funding. How am I doing?

If my summary is correct, then I think you need a Do Over.

Your Uni Counselor is not going to be able to give you what you need (not because she is lazy or a bad person - but she doesn't have the training). She helps you to make it through the days, but she isn't going to be able to make things *better*. So I think you need to stick with her in that supportive capacity until you are settled with someone who does have the training (which you aren't right now).

This new therapist may be very different if the two of you have the same goals. Don't give up on her yet. I agree that it doesn't speak so well for her that she didn't start the session with "Why are you here?", but that doesn't mean that she is hopeless.

What would you think about calling for another appointment with her and telling her that you will pay - so you don't want her to worry about the funding right now. Tell her that you need to talk to her to see if she would be a good fit for you. That you need to know that so you can decide how hard to fight for funding etc. Tell her that you think the two of you had different agendas, and that you would like to have an opportunity to ask her to work on your agenda for a session. Just one session.

I think that your reaction during the session is indicative of the issues that you have. So you don't have to apologize for your actions. If you didn't have problems, then you wouldn't have gone to see her to begin with.

Can you try to start over and tell her what you need? You are very smart, informed and articulate. Tell her you need to establish a therapeutic relationship before you can handle the brassiness of forms and diagnoses etc.

But whatever happens, you were honestly YOU during that session. That *IS* the ONLY requirement for therapy.

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:fallsfall thread:512463
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