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Re: Transference Sucks Susan47

Posted by Jazzed on June 11, 2005, at 22:51:30

In reply to Transference Sucks, posted by Susan47 on June 11, 2005, at 15:00:32

> I'm in transference with every male I see.
> Intellectually I understand that the feelings are my problem, I understand that I have big problems. I've had two major relationships with my life, three counting my therapist, because that was a relationship too, of a certain type. In those three the transference was really strong, I became superlatively insecure and tortured.
> I mean, really tortured. To the point where I was, this last time, Superbitch.

I'm not sure I understand, are you in love with your T? If so, does he know you love him? (Sorry if I should know this.) So when you called his answering machine, what way did you want him to respond to you? Did you want him to call you back? Did you want him to end therapy? I'm not trying to be antagonistic, I'm really trying to understand what you want, or if you don't want anything from him anymore. Are you considering leaving him and switching to a female T? I think it helps. I fall in love with every male therapist, but never have with the females, just never occured to me to have feelings for them.

I know "transference" is painful, and I know how much it sucks. I really think the only way over it is getting away, and not seeing them, although no one in love with someone wants to hear that or do that, not me either. I had to do that awhile ago, didn't see him, and eventually I got over him, but it was painful. I agree with happyflower, I think transference was something freud came up with a long time ago to protect the Ts, make the client be the hysterical one, and the T be the logical one. I have racked my brain trying to think of who my transference could be for, and there's only one explaination, a lover. Not a past lover in my life, just a new, interesting, fantasy lover. If the T is good, they give you so much of what an ideal lover would, so why wouldn't you fall in love? Just my opinion.





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