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Re: Scared, ready to expose my skeltons to T happyflower

Posted by Jazzed on June 10, 2005, at 13:30:53

In reply to Scared, ready to expose my skeltons to T, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 11:18:37

Hi Happyflower,

I can't add any more wisdom than what's been said here, but I agree with everyone. You really need to tell your T what you're going through, but you should probably tell him why you are afraid to tell him - because he seemed uncomfortable with it before. For a T, it would seem this type of issue would come up over and over again. I think that's why so many of us completely understand where you're coming from, and can empathize with you.

I"m also married to a great guy, and I also love him very much, but every so often I get bored and/or depressed with my life, and think there must be more to life, or sometimes I feel like I want to be rescued. (I have a very good life, just stressful as I perceive it) I also get unhappy with myself, and think I should have accomplished more in my life by now. I have grown and changed a lot in our marriage, and I think it is possible to do that, but I guess it depends on the husband. Mine is really laid back, and I'm not sure if he even notices what I'm going through, I sure wouldn't tell him. The husbands don't have much of a choice though, they can either love us and accept the changes, or not, but you have to be able to breathe and grow in your life, or what's the purpose?

Anyway, I"m telling you all of this to let you know, you're not alone. Some of us seem to be about the same age, maybe our stage of life has something to do with it. I don't know. Maybe part of it is that you HAVE known your husband for 15 years, and he still doesn't know what you're feeling. If it's all about him, that's not fair, and he needs to grow up and get a grip. I've been married for a bit longer than you, and when I'm hurt or upset, I want my husband to instinctively know it, and fix what's wrong, or at least comfort me. Does that ring true, or am I way off base?

You say you will have to reveal things to your T that you don't think you "should". Well, we I guess we should reveal everything to them that's bothering us. That's the only way to get their help. Easier said than done, but once it's out, that alone will probably help somewhat. I know I haven't offered anything more or anything new, but I agree, maybe your putting it in writing is the best way to do it. It might be easier to reveal the real hurt you are feeling.

I think you are one of the nicest people on these boards, and I hope you start feeling better and more supported. I really care, and wish I had some pearl of wisdom for you.




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