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Re: termination continued - sad Shortelise

Posted by shrinking violet on May 27, 2005, at 14:31:28

In reply to termination continued - sad, posted by Shortelise on May 26, 2005, at 20:27:54

> And I know he still cares about me, he told me so, and that withdrawing the nurturing, the kind understanding I have come to count on, is part of that caring. He wants me NOT to be dependant on him, he wants me to be able to take care of myself.

I'm crying as I write this, because I'm going through this too and it HURTS so much, more than anything I've ever experienced (or let myself experience, I should say).

I often wonder if that concept is something they tell themselves so they can sleep at night, so they can hurt us and have it not bother them (i.e. it's for their own good, the way a vet might have to temporarily hurt an animal to make it better in the end). But I'm not sure I agree with the philosophy, because they don't know how MUCH it hurts, how anguishing it is, and it doesn't go away with a pinch and a breath, it lingers, and it's horrid.

I hope that's what my T is thinking, in turning her back on me now when I need her most. I hope she at least thinks she's doing it for me. I hope it isn't something I've done to her to wear her out, or make her hate me or test her limits so much she has nothing else to give. I guess I'll never know, and of course not knowing, I blame me.

I'm glad you and your T are at least having this dialogue and so you know his thoughts and feelings, so when it does hurt, you can at least be reassured he's doing it for you (I'm still not sure I agree with it, it seems twisted to me).

I wish you as much peace as you can get through this.





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