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Re: My T has amazed me and my husband

Posted by Daisym on May 27, 2005, at 11:10:53

In reply to My T has amazed me and my husband, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2005, at 8:21:32

I don't think it is that easy -- to just "allow" yourself to need him and sink into the dependency. This is part of the major work of my therapy. I think you can do it on and off, but I find, for me, that when I let myself fully need him, some other part of me eventually kicks in and the awareness of how needy I am becomes scary and I pull back.

I think it is a really important conversation to have. Because many, many therapist guard against dependency and you will want to know where your therapist stands on this issue. And I think you have to define what you mean by "letting yourself" -- does that mean 92 calls in a day, 5 in a week, upping your sessions? Does it mean that you can freely think about your therapist, write about him here and hear him in your head a lot? Does it mean that you can't, or aren't willing, to try to find comfort and understanding from your husband? Or talk to other friends about things when you feel bad, or good?

There are no right or wrong answers. It is mostly about definitions and boundaries.

All that said, I think it sounds lovely to just be a peace with how important your therapist is in your life and not feel that you have to defend this need, to yourself or anyone else. I hope you find that peace.




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poster:Daisym thread:503573