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Re: Chapter 2. Wanting to be special.

Posted by Daisym on May 27, 2005, at 10:56:16

In reply to Re: Chapter 2. Wanting to be special. daisym, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2005, at 4:30:35

****After thinking it over, I'm wondering why I was so embarassed about it. In many ways it's not a big deal.

>>>>>Don't you think it is because we, as therapy-theory geeks (no offense intended), "know better"? For me, the embarrassment is that it feels sort of school-girlish and not very mature to want this. It is more than that...but I think that is the heart of it. I said I didn't want to be a cliche. I absolutely hate being predictable. And I think I have so much control over myself that if I see something like that coming, I can usually repress it. AND, not only do I want to be special, I TOLD him I want to be special. Sheesh...have I no pride left?

For me, it is an ego thing, it is a childlike thing and it is something I will struggle against because it feels really, really wrong and dangerous. But I can't deny that I feel it. I *do* want to be special.




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