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Re: termination continued - sad Shortelise

Posted by Daisym on May 26, 2005, at 21:29:39

In reply to termination continued - sad, posted by Shortelise on May 26, 2005, at 20:27:54

Hit your pillow - scream at the wind - throw a tantrum -- do any and all of this. And then throw yourself into your husband's arms and weep. Grieve this huge loss, for that is what it is. Time changes everything, even good things and we must (are forced) to accept it. But we can still rage our way into acceptance.

I know you know it won't hurt forever. That it will be bittersweet with time and you will love who he was and what he meant to you forever. But it is too fresh a wound and hurt to go there yet.

As you hear him label things, are you ashamed of how you used to be? You should be proud to have overcome such a powerful pull. Addictions of any kind are incredibly difficult to deal with. I think sometimes people talk about past things like we won't feel this great horror of the past informing the present and being mortified by it all over again. No one wants to be reminded of their flaws, past or not.

What makes me the most sad is where you say "that withdrawing the nurturing, the kind understanding" is what he is intentionally doing. Wouldn't it be kinder to just end it? How can this type of termination really be best? It feels like it is tearing down everything that was built up. I think I want to go quietly into the night, with memories of loss, not change.

All that said, I know he is doing what he thinks is best for you. And after 7 years, I'm sure he knows you very well. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell. The pain will pass and life will help numb the hurt. I wish I was there to hold you. Please be kind to yourself.





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