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Re: Help me get closure with my ex - T? Tamar

Posted by pinkeye on May 26, 2005, at 13:26:14

In reply to Re: Help me get closure with my ex - T? pinkeye, posted by Tamar on May 26, 2005, at 4:45:01

Hmm.. Tamar - that brought me some relief, and lot of sadness :-( Thanks a lot. That really was beautifully written.

Sadness that this shall be the final email. :-(. I think I never want to end contact - not my lifetime.

But perhaps it is all a projection about my relationship with my dad. I am realizing more and more how much I project the relationship with my dad onto the other people.

Because of my dad's inappropriate emotional and physical closeness with me, and not being intended in a wrong way, I also developed a deep emotional longing for him. I can see the part in myself so very clearly nowadays - where I long too much for a connection with him. The part that wants to relate to him like a woman, and feel close to him. I don't imagine I am attracted physically to him. But there is a very deep emotional longing. And I replay it on to my ex T. That is perhaps why I find it so incredibly hard to break up with my ex T. It feels like I am losing my father I guess. and the possiblity of an emotional and deep relationship with him. Even in my all fantasies about my ex T - I always fantasized about him admitting his liking.. the first day.. not after that. I guess I am looking to clarify if my feelings towards my dad are just my imagination, or did he make me feel that way. That is what my current T says - that I keep looking for an explanation for my dad's behaviour - whether he made me like a wife - and kind of try to tear it out from my ex T. She says the real closure that I need is from my dad.

I think you might be able to understand what I am saying.

But I think it helped me get some of the closure that I have been wanting.


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