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Re: Help me get closure with my ex - T? pinkeye

Posted by Jazzed on May 26, 2005, at 4:06:20

In reply to Re: Help me get closure with my ex - T? Jazzed, posted by pinkeye on May 25, 2005, at 22:46:28

> Thanks. Don't worry about the post. You did end up putting lot of sense in me.
>
> I realized that I am never going to get closure from my ex T. It is just not soemthing which I can expect.
>
> And I didn't have a very intimate relationship or anything. I obviously was projecting everything on to him, because of my wrong thinking. And he doesn't have any part in all this. He would have forgotten me by now, and I really don't want to feel bad about him. He did his job.
>
> Only because of my transference and all these confusions I am so feeling bad. Maybe if I had a clearer view of myself and been able to understand myself better before, I probably would have remained distant myself. I was relating like a kid, like an adult all possible combinations and permutations and I was just drawing all these paintings on him and making him wear different faces and just using that to grow up myself. I did it without knowing, but that is what I ended up doing. And I am feeling bad now, and that is what is the expected outcome of therapy anyway. This is expected when you have transference I guess. I just have to accept it. And your post finally made me do it. So don't feel bad.
>

It just sounds like you got part way "there", but didn't finish. I do think transference is part of therapy, but when you work through it with your T, then you get to the "other side", and that's when you can work through the real stuff you have going on. I think you just didn't get to the other side, and now you can try to do that. It's so hard, and it takes a lot of time, but don't give up on it. Sounds as though maybe your T didn't know about transference, or didn't know how to help you work through it?

Jazzed


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