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Re: I can't believe how damn stupid I have been pinkeye

Posted by Dinah on May 25, 2005, at 17:46:08

In reply to I can't believe how damn stupid I have been pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on May 25, 2005, at 17:26:34

I thought you said that you were very difficult to live with before you started therapy? That you were having trouble controlling your temper.

Is it possible that you tend to think in either/or terms? It's a common thing. I think I've noticed it a bit lately in your posts. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But it's a way of thinking that can leave you feeling a bit trapped sometimes.

Like... Self nurturing is a wonderful thing. It can be very helpful. But it's unlikely that it can be the entire answer to life difficulties. It can be part of a healthy well balanced life.

And... It's possible that therapy can be good in some ways and bad in some ways. And that some therapies suit some people more than others.

And your feelings for your father seem to swing widely. From thinking he was a good man who did his best, to extreme anger.

I could be completely wrong. It's just something I've noticed a bit lately. Has your therapist talked to you about it?

It could be a coping mechanism on your part that is becoming a bit more pronounced under stress. Obsessing about something unrelated to the problem at hand is another coping mechanism, one I use all the time. You're under a lot of stress and it's possible that a lot of your old coping mechanisms are being used more than usual.

If you think you're decompensating a bit more than you like, can you ask your therapist to stop probing for a while and help you shore up your coping skills? Step back and practice the basics? That's a reasonable request. Do you think medication might be helpful?

You're under a lot of life stress right now. It's really scary to revisit your childhood with a therapist and have them relabel the actions of your parents with scary names. It can be confusing. It might be a worthwhile thing, but not necessarily when life stressors are pushing in on you.

You have a few basic choices you need to make at this juncture of your life. They involve sorting out your priorities and deciding what you want to be, who you want to be. Therapy can help you with that. But it doesn't necessarily sound like your therapy is attempting to help you with that.

But I'm not in your therapy room, so I don't know. Do you talk to your therapist about the practicalities confronting you? What does she say?




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