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Re: cognitive psychology?help me please happyflower

Posted by pinkeye on May 24, 2005, at 14:03:08

In reply to cognitive psychology?help me please, posted by happyflower on May 24, 2005, at 13:42:54

Here is my attempt. I might be wrong

> What role does transference play in cognitive psychology?

---From my experience, not too much. Transference happens for the client in cognitive psychology (CBT), but I think the therapists are not trained too much into dealing with it. My current CBT therapist doesn't encourage even a little bit of transference, she doesn't want it, doesn't want to encourage any liking towards her and she is not going to deal with it. So God help me if I ever develop transference towards her. She is not going to help.

My ex T had little more common sense. He allowed me to tell him stuff and let me feel whatever I felt, but I think he also didn't know how to make too much sense out of it. HE was probably not trained as well for all these confusing projections. If you want to work through your trasnference, and heal, you might want to find some other form of therapy.

My T says this is the type of therapy he uses but what does it mean really?

--- He is more focussed on dealing with the real world as of now - rather than focussing on the past and letting you regress and bring out your emotions, and help you make sense of the way you feel. In other words, he is willing to help you correct your logical mistakes. But not too much into emotional regression and healing.

It doesn't seem like he wants transference, he says he doesn't want me to put him on a pedestal.

----Yeah, no therapists wants to be in a
pedestal. But unfortunately, the client ends up putting them in one anyway. Unless they are brutally distant or same sex therapist (that helps in most cases - like my current T).

But today he said he thought I was very critical of him. But really I think the best of him and really like him.

--- You could be doing both. From your logical mind you are probably evaluating him and sensing his mistakes. We all do that - because it is such an enigma to us - to tell everything to a person whom we know nothing about. You are probably trying to make some sense out of this person.

But really I try to push him away, when I feel I am getting too close to him. People that I have got close to in my past life always disapointed me. So he said he understands now why I SEEM critical, when really I am scared to getting too attached to him. I want to push him away so he doesn't push me away first. We are going to talk more next session, but what do you all think? What should I do? How do I make friends if I push them away by being what seems as being critical of them? My T says he likes that I am honest, so talk about mixed messages. Help! It was a very good and honest session today. I didn't realize I seemed critical of him when actually I like him and think he has helped me so much. Why do I do this? Why am I misunderstood? My mind is spinning! What do you all think?

----- There is a deeper emotional self to all of us which kind of tends to do this pushing away. I have seen it in myself, and in almost everyone around us. Once bitten, twice shy. Same theory. But you need to consciously change that pattern.




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