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Re: One reason I wanted to post this Ľ Dinah

Posted by Tamar on May 24, 2005, at 3:46:30

In reply to Re: One reason I wanted to post this, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2005, at 17:19:55

> Maybe so. Though I think I may have used up my Babble credit with my husband for a long long time. Have I mentioned he doesn't like this place?

Thatís unfortunateÖ Maybe he doesnít realize that if you didnít have this outlet you might expect to take up more of HIS emotional resources!

> > Passing as a eunuch is even better than the real thing. Apparently back in the days of castrati singers, eunuchs were much desired. They could keep going for hours, and no fear of pregnancy, or so Iíve heard. Obviously you donít want that!
>
> Whoah. Didn't know that. Nooooo, definitely not. Passing as asexual is way better. Plus it reminds me of Daddy.

Yeah, I prefer to think of my dad as asexual too. I mean, I know he probably had sex with my mother twice, because somehow my brother and I got here, but I have a secret fantasy that fertilization occurred in a petri dish.

> Oh, that's a very long story. There are big gaps in my memory, so it's sort of like one minute I looked like me, the next like my mother, but in truth a fair amount of time probably passed. And to complicate matters, I was a completely different person in tenth and twelth grades (extending over into college). I always joke (and it's just a joke) that I was taken over by aliens. I refer to me at that time as Happy Dinah, and I was actually quite proud of my body, and enjoyed my sexuality and to a limited extent boys. But it was only for those two periods of time. The aliens left and I became plain old me again. My husband says I caught him under false pretenses. Although you'd think at least ten years of dating after my return to me was enough to clear me of that accusation.

Was there an eleventh grade in between tenth and twelfth, in which things were different again? Or was it the same in eleventh grade? Or did you skip a grade?

Iím sure youíve asked yourself dozens of times why the aliens left when they did. Just like Iíve asked myself dozens of times why I had one and only one relationship that worked sexually. In my case, the aliens came in my last year of college and I was immensely happy about it. I thought Iíd finally cracked the code and figured out how to have a fulfilling sex life. I started having sex quite young, and it never really worked, until that relationship. But the relationship ended and sex has never been particularly good with anyone else. And I know the problem is within me; itís not about the men. There might possibly be a reason but I have no memory of anything that would constitute a reason. But Iíve been working on the sex thing quite a lot recently and itís improving.

> I just realized you know tons and tons about me, but I know very very little about you. You remind me of another Babble friend in that. :) I know you terminated with your therapist recently, that you were attracted to him, and that you mostly think it was a good time to terminate?

Maybe I just havenít been around Babble long enough to have emerged much as a person. Yeah, I terminated a couple of months ago and it was probably a good time. Iím feeling much better. I had a couple of depressive episodes when I was younger but nothing too scary, and then I became very depressed a couple of years ago. It took a while to realize I was depressed but I did therapy for the first time and found it an incredibly intense experience. Iím glad I did it, though.

Is there anything in particular youíre curious about? Iím prepared to share!


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poster:Tamar thread:501142
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/502135.html