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Re: Oh Rod :) Dinah

Posted by Dinah on May 23, 2005, at 11:34:01

In reply to Re: Oh Rod :) 64bowtie, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2005, at 9:31:18

Ok. I used to think that I was responsible for everything, because in my family of origin, my parents allowed me to think I was responsible for everything.

Over time, I've changed quite a bit, thanks to my therapist.

But I did give something up in changing.

I gave up the illusion of power, and the illusion of the safety of thinking you have control over something you really can't control.

You might say an illusion is nothing to give up. But it is something very important to someone who grew up with minimal stability. The illusion of control is a lot indeed.

I was able to give that up *only* because my therapist recognized what a big sacrifice it was for me to give it up, gave me alternatives, and stood by so that I felt safe letting go.

If he had said I wasn't giving anything up, I would have clung tightly to what I had, because I would have realized that he didn't understand how really important it was. And how can you give something up on the advice of someone who doesn't understand what they're asking you to do?

 

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poster:Dinah thread:501252
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