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Re: One reason I wanted to post this

Posted by daisym on May 22, 2005, at 19:38:04

In reply to One reason I wanted to post this, posted by Dinah on May 22, 2005, at 19:06:49

For me, I need to separate the word "normal" and "acceptable or OK."

I think what is unacceptable to me, for myself, is the link between feeling certain sensations in my body and the realization that they might be linked to your therapist - man or woman. You said you've divorced physiology from your emotions. But if one hasn't, it gets confusing and tricky. And if you've had a history of mixed up sex and love, or sex was linked to being close to someone, someone you *knew* you weren't supposed to have sex with, I think it is even trickier. Add in that some of us feel like our bodies betrayed us because there was pleasure intertwined with terror...normal or not, those feelings cause panic, with a capital P!

I think it depends on which question you are asking. Is frequent arousal normal? Probably with some people and not others, like you said. Is arousal in therapy normal? Again, probably for some people and not for others. Is wanting to be close to your therapist normal? Sure, for most of us. Is wanting to be special to your therapist normal? The books tell us it is.

So what happens when you put all these things together? If I want to be close to my therapist and I want to be special to him, AND I feel a certain arousal during therapy, how can I not conclude that I want to have sex with him? My mind might say no, but what if my body is saying yes? And I don't trust my body, so I end up playing head games with myself -- like, maybe it is too scary to admit that you want to have sex...

Can you tell I've talked myself in and around this circle incessantly?

So, I might agree that it is normal, perhaps inevitable to be aroused by the anxiety or body memories during therapy sessions. But I'm not OK with it happening, especially if it is linked to my therapist. I want more control of my body than that. It scares me half to death!

(And yes, my therapist said it is OK and normal and safe and all the other right things, and that he wants to hear about it, etc. etc. But still, IT IS SOOO EMBARRASSING to talk about...)




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