Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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growth after termination.. shrinking violet

Posted by Pfinstegg on May 22, 2005, at 0:44:11

In reply to i wore her out, posted by shrinking violet on May 20, 2005, at 16:11:29

I think nearly every one of the students here who has had university-sponsored therapy just gets into such a tough situation; it IS time-limited, and can't go on when you are no longer a student. You are forced by these circumstances to abruptly rupture your attachment to your therapist, even when it is obviously in the process of growing, and is becoming more and more important to you. For those of us who are older, it seems extremely harsh, because we are all at some point in the process of allowing our attachments to our own therapists to deepen, and to involve more and more vulnerability and trust. It's only after a number of years (maybe five at a minimum) that people on these boards begin to realize that they have grown and accomplished at least some of the things they wanted to. Then termination becomes a possibility, but it, too is very hard- and it's very gradual.

But for students, there is inevitably this very abrupt stopping. It sounds as though you were reaching the point of really trusting your therapist- with some ups and downs, for sure- and that you really wanted to let her know how important she-and the process of therapy- had become to you. In fact, you did find a lot of ways to express that. I think your therapist did have a difficult time, when she realized the depth of feeling you had developed. She knew there wasn't any way to resolve it quickly, and I think she knew, too, that stopping was going to be tremendously painful for you. She seemed to act a bit erratic; I would bet that it was hard for her to have to let you go when the timing was so obviously wrong, and because her own feelings were strong- her own positive feelings for you, as well as her regret and perhaps guilt over how things had to stop.

You didn't get a chance to work through the issues that brought you into therapy, but you did have the experience of developing an intense attachment. That is very healthy and promising in itself. I hope you will be able to have another intense, positive experience in therapy in the future- but NOT a time-limited one.




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