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Re: A dependency on your T mair

Posted by Aphrodite on February 8, 2005, at 16:16:13

In reply to A dependency on your T, posted by mair on February 7, 2005, at 16:06:55

I think about this *a lot* and I've always been such an independent person. I believe whether dependency is "good" or "bad" may depend on the person, if it should even be defined that way at all. My T says he does not have a cookie-cutter approach. For some, he discourages this. If it has been that person's life pattern, he guides them toward independence. For me, he completely and totally encourages attachment and has even bluntly stated he's trying to foster dependence.

If I don't call him, he calls me. He wants me to attach. He seems happy when I regress and "cry out" for him because he says then the guard is down and he can access the pain and actually get some work done. But it feels so uncomfortable for me. We discussed this recently, and he said, "You don't need therapy to learn to be a functional, independent adult. You need therapy for the wounded little girl inside, and for that, you need to trust and depend on me." I asked him again about phone calls, how much is too much, etc. and he gently replied, "When you *need* to call, just call. When you *want* to call, call then too. I'm here as much as you need." It all seems wrong somehow, but maybe getting me out of my miss-little-can-do-it-all-myself mode is the way to overcome and do the trauma work.




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