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Re: A dependency on your T

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 8, 2005, at 8:44:41

In reply to A dependency on your T, posted by mair on February 7, 2005, at 16:06:55

My T believes one of the worst things that can happen in therapy is for the patient (he calls his people patients and not clients)to become dependant. The topic came up about 3 months into my therapy when I told him I was really paranoid about him dropping me or leaving me or whatever. So he went off on a 5 minute speech about dependance, etc. and how "bad" it was. Needless to say, I was pretty quiet the rest of the session. Not our best moment.

ONe way he tries to keep the dependance down is through pretty strict boundaries. Only handshakes, calling between sessions is not encouraged, he lets me call him "Dr. X" (which I like). I can honestly say that all of this has prevented me from becoming dependant. I believe I would easily have felt more dependant if hugs were doled out or if he gave me physical compliments or even called to check up on me (I am so jealous when I read about people whose Ts do this!!!). In short, I knew any dependance would not be tolerated on his part, and since I adore him, I have worked hard not to feel this way.

That being said, we have a wonderful "therapeutic alliance." And I have grown to trust him 100%. ANd I trust very few people. I have a proclivity to grow attached to pretty much all authority figures in my life. Maybe he knows this and therefore nipped it in the bud with me.

I feel this is the best approach with me as I do not feel absolutely desperate to see him if there is a long separation. And I know that when termination occurs, while it will be hard, will not be the end of the world.




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