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Re: My therapist's take on odd mair

Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2005, at 19:44:41

In reply to Re: My therapist's take on odd, posted by mair on February 7, 2005, at 15:43:00

Well, I've never seen it as an enormously negative thing. I've just noted its effect, and adjusted my actions accordingly. If I'm alone, I don't think of it at all. :)

I always figured that if I cared enough, I could change enough to conform. I was a teensy bit taken aback today when my therapist didn't seem to think that that was true. I guess it's one of those old childhood fantasies. THIS year I'll dress well, and my hair will be stylish, and I'll know all the right things to say, and people will like me, and all those kids who were mean to me last year will be sorry. :)

My therapist doesn't actually disagree about the school thing. He just thinks I should go to school anyway. Hold my head high and all that. My son's school is sort of a hotbed of conformity among the parents for all its emphasis on individuality among the students, and my therapist is savvy enough to be aware of that.

It's not that I never go to school events. If it's an event large enough to lose myself in, I go happily.

I suppose I have some degree of social phobia that I don't really concentrate on enough, because my life is structured so that it doesn't often come up. It doesn't really show itself at work because I've known everyone forever and I'm aware they value me for the things I bring to the job. I wonder if it's possible to have partial social phobia.

Except that social phobia doesn't seem to be quite right either. A social phobic wouldn't get in as much trouble as I do with my big mouth.

I dunno. I suspect my therapist thinks I'm even odder than I think I am, and in a not very good way. But he's such a conservative, conforming guy, you know? For all his talk of acceptance. There are things he thinks are important that I don't think are important, and he probably judges me more harshly than someone who also didn't think they were important.

But maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel good with that idea. He is after all the person who gave the pdoc from hades the ammo to label me as schizotypal. If you go down that DSM IV checklist, he checks off a number of those items for me.




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