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Doing a runner

Posted by littleone on February 6, 2005, at 21:19:26

In reply to My dad, posted by littleone on February 1, 2005, at 15:11:29

I've been so messed up since my last session. My T read through the hate list about my dad and then tried to convince me to tell my dad all my hates. Of course, they would have to be reworded into I statements instead, but still. This is the very last thing I want to do. In fact never never never. Nuh uh. No way.

And it wasn't just a suggestion, it was a real hard shove. In fact a few real hard shoves. Then he went through the whole "what would you lose if you did it" and really hammered me over that. He thinks I have nothing to lose 'cause I basically don't have a relationship with my dad at the moment anyway. Nothing to lose, lots to gain.

And he didn't want me to tell my dad one or two hates, but rather the whole lot at once. Don't want to take a leaky tap approach.

And I can't believe this. It has me so insane. I've been having nightmares over and over and over and I'm just crazy over the whole thing.

And I know I'm supposed to stick with my T, but I didn't like his shoves and I don't like this and I can't do this. So I've looked around heaps and I've found a potential new T. But she's a lady and I don't get on with women. But she's much cheaper than my current T and she's in a more convenient location and she does inner child work. Don't want any more REBT or CBT thrown at me.

Don't know how to get around that stupid promise thing I signed. I've got sessions booked up to the end of Feb. I could cancel the last few weeks and just ride out a few sessions with him then disappear. He won't notice. I'm good at being invisible. But I don't want to go back. Never ever.




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