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Re: No, no I don't hate him, Mair, sorry, I'm sorry Susan47

Posted by mair on February 6, 2005, at 19:30:11

In reply to No, no I don't hate him, Mair, sorry, I'm sorry, posted by Susan47 on February 4, 2005, at 20:18:02

Susan

I don't know enough about why this guy is an ex-T to comment very helpfully. But he is the professional and should or should've known how to deal with you. My T gave me the example of a client she has now who is perpetually furious with her. This is a woman, who because she lost so many years to an awful depression and probably an incompetent T, now finds herself at age 50, neither married nor with children, both of which she always wanted. She's incredibly angry with my T for having the things that she doesn't. I think she's been that way the whole time she's been seeing her, but she keeps coming back. I can't imagine it's much fun to treat this woman, but I think Ts have to sort of take their clients as they are and be prepared to deal with a lot of situations which may seem aberrant to us. My T tried to tell me recently that I needed to be able to express whatever i was feeling about her including feeling homicidal. We both laughed at that, but the general idea was just that she could deal with whatever i came up with.

Of course, I'm here writing all of this, when the reality is that I've draped myself with tons of defense mechanisms I'm sure just to make sure I never have the kinds of feelings I wouldn't want to express.

Mair


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