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Re: My therapist is in love with me!

Posted by badhaircut on February 6, 2005, at 11:42:04

In reply to My therapist is in love with me!, posted by Blossom on February 5, 2005, at 22:23:59

I have to admit I was skeptical when I saw your subject line, but the facts you present are like a warning gong to me. My first therapist made the moves on me around termination time, doing the same stuff your T is: Giving 20 minutes of unexpected extra time, the apropos-of-nothing statements about a counselor's feelings, etc.

I think they may see the termination as a kind of opportunity for a new relationship. If he invites you to meet him for coffee or dinner, that's it: he's turned into a wolf.

You say
> before I realized that he felt this way about me, I didn't have any sexual feelings for him (he's more than twice my age)

That doesn't quite say you're unequivocally uninterested in him NOW.... I think it's fair to predict that the gains you've made since starting therapy would be erased if you were to have an affair with him. A study said 80% of patients who had affairs with their therapists AFTER termination reported being harmed by it (, and most complaints filed with state agencies are for post-termination affairs.

The APA says to "consider talking to another therapist" about him putting the moves on you. You don't have to tell them who he is, if you're worried about getting him into trouble. On the other hand, if he does it with you, he's probably done it with others and will do it with others after you. (My T considered it a job perk.)

I think it's great that you keep your husband informed. But why on earth doesn't he believe you?!

There's an old Psychology Today article, but it doesn't say what a client should do, except beware the slippery slope:




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