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Re: Oh god, now I've done it, Susan47

Posted by 10derHeart on January 31, 2005, at 18:18:07

In reply to Re: Oh god, now I've done it,, posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 16:47:18

> I'm so disconnected from my family, my children... my children who are suffering and hurt because of who I am. I have a meaningless existence with no connections to anybody, I belong to no one and no one belongs to me, I can't think straight about anything and I feel worthless, like a bottomless pit of need.. I just really need to die, I just really need to. Why should life why should living hurt this much?

((((Susan))))

Sorry you are going through these awful ups and downs. I've been lurking, reading, hurting for you, never knowing anything soothing to say. But please, sweetie, please know you CAN start over, you CAN take the baby steps like pinkeye mentioned. You may feel you *want* to die sometimes, many of us can SO relate to that. But Susan, you know that part will pass. Hang on. You know those beautiful children would suffer IMMENSELY more from your death. You know that. Right?

And I know you mean IRL, but Susan, you do belong to a warm, loving community at Babble, and we belong to you. We really do. No, it's not the same. But it is what it is - and it's something. It is something. And I challenge you to tell me you can't name one thing or person - not one single one - that you're connected to IRL? I know you can. It's just not good enough, or close enough right now. But it CAN be some day. I'm working toward that day, too. We must not give up - hope is everything.

You are so strong and good. I have a TON of faith in your ability to push that hurt away, fight it, feel it, do self-therapy on it, Babble about it - but ultimately - triumph over it. Some hurt is NOT going to do in Susan47 - NO WAY!

Anyone who can rejoice in dancing naked, love her children like you do and write with such passion and beauty, and try so hard to help others, MUST stay alive.

Beause we all need her in this world with us. ((((Susan))))

(hope I wasn't harsh - I just am so passionate about the worthy, lovable woman I see in your posts - along with the suffering one - I see her, I hear her.....truly I do...)

 

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poster:10derHeart thread:450147
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050129/msgs/450706.html