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Re: Relationships alexandra_k

Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 17:16:21

In reply to Re: Relationships Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on January 21, 2005, at 15:51:58

Thank you again and I never said I expected people to condone anything I am doing. I do not like what many posters do but having said it one time I find it unsupportive to keep posting that to the other person. It leads IMO to circle thinking. We just disagree..I don't want to debate the issue of ANY one law it is not what I come to Babble for. I will say I do belive *many laws* need to change and NO not JUST FOR ME <was that sarcasm?> .

The reason I was sorry was at the loss of your relationship is I am sure at the time you broke up you were *hurt*. Your pain at this is what I was addressing. Now on the same vain you posted about how you learned from it maybe I will learn too but that is for me to live out and find out...not be, as a few posters have said critcised for my life style. Certainly Dr Bob as I suggested above..wayyy above could post the APA laws and rules for anyone to read as he has on suicide and maybe SI should be added...a nice link as to not to do it and what to do in it's place...Having tried SI'd in the past I am NOT bashing PEOPLE who SI in here. But disclaimers are helpful , following a poster and pointing out other threads of there just doesn't feel helpful or supportive to me. Thank you again

> Yeah, I thought Pfinstegg's post was good. I apologise if you thought I said anything judgemental or unsupportive to or about you.
> I guess I am feeling a bit tied too. On the one hand I want to support Babblers - emotionally, but that doesn't mean I have to condone what you are doing. One the other hand I believe that what he is doing (and the way in which he went about it) is wrong and he should lose his lisence to practice as a consequence of that.
> I don't think any rules are 'meant' to be broken. Some of them *should* be changed, however. Is the APA rule prohibiting sexual contact for 2 years after a therapy relationship really a rule you would like to see changed? Just in your case, or just dropped altogether? What do you think the intention of the rule is? Why do you consider your case to be an exception?
> You don't have to feel sorry that my relationship didn't work out. I think I learned a lot from it. I think I learned a lot about WHY rules like this are in existence. We were both genuine at the time. We both thought that we genuinely were in love with each other. I really do not believe that there was any malice or intention to hurt in my partners mind. But fact is - years later - I look back on that and consider it an abuse. They abused their power.
> Transference and counter-transference responses can masquerade as love. But to ACT on them instead of working through them... Well, IMO your 't' stopped being your t and started looking out for himself at the point where he wasn't trying to help you work through that anymore.
> > Oops my post may have been lost cause I did reply earlier. I am sorry your relationship didn't work out. It is a fact of life that not everything goes how we wish so I know anything can happen..Part of that everything may just be I will continue to be happy with him. As to rules some are meant to be broken....once many years ago women were not allowed to vote and gays today cannot marry in most states.....also in many churches and states certain very practiced sex acts are considered immoral....Fact is I am happy and I am enjoying it :) Still I am sorry your relationshiop did not work out.




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