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It is slowly getting better

Posted by daisym on January 20, 2005, at 19:49:50

In reply to Re: I'm hopeless...NOT! daisym, posted by Pfinstegg on January 20, 2005, at 15:59:31

Slowly...I think what Dinah said is true, the relationship is just so weird. And so intense!

And Pfinstegg, you always make me feel better. I wish I had the rule book. I think I'm really struggling right now with the intense battle for time with my therapist. There are so many issues that I want to talk about, but that means that little daisy has to wait her turn. Yesterday I sort of wailed at him that the time between sessions was sooo long and the time with him was too short and there were too many voices clammering for his attention. He just calmly said, "that is why you need to come and see me a lot." I think we are both getting better at realizing which age state isn't getting their turn but needs one. I'm definitely catching him dropping things in that are intended to be protective of the younger parts of me...like bringing his bat to scare away the night monsters or joking about giving my hubby the sleeping pills so he could sleep (not cough) instead of me. This last one is important for lots of reasons but he stopped himself and looked at me and said, "You need to sleep. Little Daisy needs to let you sleep. Can she do that? I need her to hear me that I'm not sending her away, but you must sleep."

We were talking yesterday about the gate keeper part of me being out strong as a reaction to last weeks "hostile take over" by little daisy. He said that it was obvious to him that she was so freaked out and afraid of the pdoc appointment she needed direct reassurance. And the adult part of me was totally in the "I'm an adult, I can handle this" mode. He said he saw a bright yellow Hummer with the license plate "Daisy" and he decided that was what she needed to get through the gate keeper to see him. It was very sweet.

So, I've stopped struggling against my attachment. Now I just have to deal with how alone and lost I feel without him. I don't know which is worse.

 

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poster:daisym thread:441332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/444860.html