Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Bad session

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 20, 2005, at 14:27:50

Just had a rare, bad session. Felt rushed through and then rushed out because he had to go get lunch in the cafeteria.

Last week was my first session back after a month off due to Christmas break and New Year's, etc. It was great. I was so happy to see him again and I think he was happy to see me. We laughed a lot and I flirted with him a little. Ah, good times! HE prescribed a book for me to read "The Denial of Death" in order to begin attacking what I want to attack this year - my fear of doctors and death. He even told me to call him if I needed (the first time he's EVER done that!)

So I read the book, marked it up, even brought in something I wrote a few years ago about my fear of being forgotten. Well, we spent not much time on the book and he gave me a weak smile when I showed him what I wrote.

As some of you who have been to the health site know, I am a "recovering" hypochondriac who has a fear of doctors. I haven't had an OBGYN checkup in over 10 years. This is what he and I are now working on. GEtting me to the doctor.

So we worked on rational thoughts about this and he gave me exercises to do and he told me he was very alarmed FOR me. We had been on an every other week schedule and now we are back to every week as he says this is a serious issue and he is very "concerned" for me.

So I was anxious the whole session. I realize these are the times when I am probably doing my best "work," but it just sucked. He even rode the elevator down with me so he could go to the cafeteria and I couldn't WAIT to get out! IN the past I have fantasized about being stuck in that very same elevator with him. Ha! No more!

Anyway, there's no point to this, just want to vent. I guess it can't all be teddy bears and candy hearts. I wish I weren't so invested in our relationship. I hate how lopsided it is.




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