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Re: needing one's therapist

Posted by Shortelise on January 18, 2005, at 1:18:08

In reply to needing one's therapist, posted by rubenstein on January 17, 2005, at 17:24:16

I think we can call.

Here are these people, these therapist people, who chose a profession where they sometimes become the core support person for another.

They expect we will want/need/chose to call them sometimes.

I believe my T was happy when I started calling him, glad that I was making the transition from being afraid of counting on him, to trusting that it was ok to count on him. It was the beginning of a time when I really bonded with him. I needed to trust him. That I called, and he was there for me (other than the first time when he suggested I go shopping) proved something positive.

Now when I call, sometimes it's just that I need to be sure of him, need to make sure he is still there, that I am not without him. It's childish, yes, and I don't call every day. Just once in a while I need him on the telephone, and if he isn't prepared for it then he ought to have taken up a different profession. They all know this is part of it.

There's also the question as to why you think it's so important to be the "good" client. And why do you think the "good" client never calls? Maybe she does call. I think she does, I think she calls when she needs to, for her own reasons. I don't mean to say you are "wrong" to feel as you do, I just feel very differently. I think that being a "good" client consists of asking for what we need from our T's. Even if it's on the telephone.

My T has never even vaguely hinted that I shouldn't call, or that I should call less. For me, I think a few calls a month is ok. In times of great challenges in therapy, I think it would be ok to call more often though you might feel most comfortable of you discussed it beforehand in session. That's what I did, and it worked well. It might for you too.

Need is a scary thing.

Hugs, Rubenstein.





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