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Running for the hills!-(LONG)

Posted by B2Chica on January 14, 2005, at 18:16:22

no, not psychological helpers.
i'm beginning to think there is this invisible around me when i talk with psychologist that shines "RUN AWAY...VERY FAST!!"
-First reminder that the one i FINALLY FOUND -and just as i found him had personal issues come up and had to close practice....(at my more paranoid times i feel that i somehow caused it.) it just seems that way...have had Many instances that happen "coincidentally". ...i rationale.

So, OK.
i've "interviewed" (not sure what else to call it) several other T's. Thought i'd even break down and try female ones. -Huge step for me ;^) (insert pat on back here)
-One-which i liked-said right off the bat that wasn't her area of specialty and couldn't help me. (i liked her honesty-i respect and appreciate that).
-The next one sounded like she could see me at first but the more we talked at the end she said well, i mispoke and am not taking on any new patients but i could give you a few other names" i pretended to write them down.
-Next one sat three inches away from me the entire time and kept talking about all her other patients and how quickly they got well. (despite all this she is my most likely candidate) She went on and on about privacy...that's good.
-Next one-first clue-first 5 min talked about my insurance and payment. then, i thought was going very well but toward the end i asked about how often she could see me (i was thinking twice a week)she said once a week to start but she "doesn't want to teach dependance and will get me to once everyother week or go from there"...well i have a hard time with words sometimes and was explaining...yes explaining why i thought i needed twice a week (as if i had to explain it) anyway, somehow she misunderstood (as i always seem to be) and thought i was blaming my last T for my S. attempt and WOW ddid prickly defensive lady step out of the closet! For the next 5 minutes she LECTURED me on how She was Not responsible for MY Actions, that I Was. and she couldn't control what i did after i left her office and she Wouldn't take responsibility for that! I was speechless. After that lecture i felt like running screaming out the door, but she paused, smiled and said "so...should we set up an appointment for next week???"

was supposed to see pdoc tonight and got call this morning saying he had an emergency and need to reschedule. I think i can handle this delay but boy with my luck right now...i do pray that the emergency was not in his personal life. Both for selfish reasons (can't handle loosing him). but also, cuz i'm quite attached to him as a person, Respect him greatly as a pdoc, and he's not a pill pusher. he's really a good doctor and a great person. this world could use more of him!

ok, so here's my tension screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

hope i didn't blow any eardrums.
thanks for letting me vent.

-Next tues. i have pdoc rescheduled and have evening appt. with "close" lady.
i have to laugh. reading over this i feel like chandler on 'friends' when he talks about not finding the right woman but then complains about things like "her head's too big". i think that's me...
i need to just DO IT! and stop stalling. or being so picky or Something.

ok, i'll go home now.
later all.




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poster:B2Chica thread:442291