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What my T said . . .

Posted by Aphrodite on December 9, 2004, at 20:37:51

In reply to Struggle with pdoc -- thinking of GG (long), posted by Aphrodite on December 8, 2004, at 12:51:32

I wish I had the physical strength and mental clarity to respond to each of you. Thank you so much for your support and validation. Alexandra, your "knee-jerk" reaction was awesome! It's exactly what I wanted to say!

And yes, I think to a certain degree now that I have gone to 3 horrid pdocs, they *are* just like that, with the exception of Dr. Bob of course. :) I think I was expecting another person as concerned and caring and empathetic as my T.

I had my T listen to the pdoc's phone message reponse to my letter asking for she and I to work things out. My T tried to be open-minded, and I started to cry and said he was supposed to be on my side. I told him how she made me feel blamed and retraumatized, especially her insensitivity to my csa. He said very sternly, "That's it. She's fired!" He asked for more detail and ended up as indignant as I. He said she had betrayed both of our trusts and that we were to do everything to soothe and protect young Aphrodite.

I'm not sure where to go from here, but I was so relieved to get my T's support and not feel like I had to appease him.

This is discouraging, though. It just makes me go to the place of, "I'm too damaged. I'll never be well because I've never deserved it. It's all my fault."

That's a horrible place to be this evening. :(




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