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Re: Mother's Touch Mother's Love

Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 11:39:30

In reply to Re: Mother's Touch Mother's Love saw, posted by Daisym on December 8, 2004, at 11:21:02

I figure that's going to happen one day. :( That my son will pull away.

I'm rather unconsciously huggy and touchy with my son. I don't really think about it, but I touch him a lot. Like we will be walking along and I'll put an arm around him. Sometimes he kind of pulls away, but then he'll awkwardly reciprocate. I smooth his hair, and touch his arm when he's done something good. I hug him all the time. I don't kiss much. Sometimes on the top of the head. The more active forms of touching, like horseplay, he does with his dad.

My family as adults hardly ever touch and when I initiate it it feels awfully awkward.

I used to sit on Daddy's lap and watch TV. When I got to be a preteen or young teen he started not letting me sit on his lap. My therapist says that was a good responsible thing, but it felt sort of bad to me at the time. Like I had done something wrong. I had some vague realization it had something to do with sex, and it made me feel dirty that my father wouldn't let me sit on his lap anymore.

I can't recall my mother touching me a lot, but I know she sat and held my son for long periods of time when he was very young. I can't imagine it would have been much different for me. So while I'm reasonably sure she touched me a lot when I was little, I don't really remember it, and I don't remember why or when it stopped.

One thing I remember and absolutely do not make my son do is the relative hug. "Go hug Aunt..." was done a lot on my father's side, none on my mother's. And I HATED it.




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