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Re: Mother's Touch Mother's Love littleone

Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 7, 2004, at 23:25:57

In reply to Mother's Touch Mother's Love, posted by littleone on December 7, 2004, at 20:27:13

Intresting topic and one my T would be happy I can across..I do know touch is VERY important and more so in the first years of life. I did not get a lot of touch minus some good ones on vacation or if something very bad happened but mostly I was hit and not touched by almost everyone in my family . I did sometimes get read too and sat on dads lap...My T has suggested I read a book called Attachments: why you love, feel and act the way you do by T. Clinton. I haven't read much of it but it does address this topic.


> I was in an eatery earlier buying a kebab and while I was waiting for it to be made up, I was watching a mother with her kid. The kid was probably around the starting to walk age (don't know how old that is). Anyway, the mother was stroking the kid's leg. Not in a gooby way, but in a real sweet motherly loving way. You could just see that she loved that kid to pieces.
>
> One of the things I've been working on is understanding that my mother wasn't a toucher. When I was a little baby, there's heaps of touching, but then I guess there would have to be because she'd have to hold my head up and whatnot. But there came a time when basically all the touching stopped. That is the mother I remember.
>
> I know heaps of the theory about touch and attachment and whatnot, but I still don't really understand why you need touch to have the attachment. Even if she didn't want to touch me, she could have shown her love in other ways, eg the way she talked or listened or involved herself in my life or attended to my needs or whatever.
>
> I guess firstly, I'd like to hear if there's anyone who feels they have a strong attachment to a close family member where there is no touch involved at all (and BTW your T's are excluded from this - they are a completely different kettle of fish).
>
> And secondly, I know some of you have kids and it sounds like you are wonderful parents. I was just wondering what touch is like between you and your kids.
>
> I just get confused. My mum's big demonstration of love at my wedding was to lightly touch my elbow. I didn't even get a hug. And I can see that that's not really "normal". But I keep excusing it away - some people aren't touchers, that's how she was raised, etc.
>
> I guess I'm trying to understand how the lack of touch affected me.


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poster:Fallen4MyT thread:425905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041203/msgs/425962.html