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All about Falls' anxiety

Posted by fallsfall on December 6, 2004, at 7:48:28

I try to do something over which I have lots of control. I play computer games (geometric puzzle games). I color geometric designs. I play with geometric lego-like toys. Gee, I think I like geometric things. They make me feel like there is order in the world.

Maybe being able to structure this little part of my world makes me feel less out of control (that's what the anxiety is about for me - being out of control). Like now.

I'm thinking I should take my dogs for a walk and do my Yoga tape, but I'm almost afraid to stand up because I feel like I'll be out of control - not able to decide where to move to and what to do. At least when I'm sitting here I am *grounded* in some way. There is only so much flailing one can do sitting down with one's legs on a stool straight out in front, and one's arms stretched out on the table reaching for the keyboard. Gee, I think I'm a little tense today.

I think I'll take the dogs for a walk and do my yoga. But I have to get dressed first, and go to the bathroom and brush my hair and find socks (I think I do not have a clean pair - I have lots of clean single socks), or maybe I'll wear my shoes without socks because otherwise I'll spend 2 hours looking for socks and I won't get the walk and I won't do the yoga and I'll be late for therapy.

Sorry to make this all about me... I think I'll put this in a new thread.......




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