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Re: Pre-verbal feelings- the different parts daisym

Posted by Pfinstegg on December 3, 2004, at 11:44:12

In reply to Re: Pre-verbal feelings Pfinstegg, posted by daisym on December 3, 2004, at 0:51:25

We're no different, Daisy. There are times that I am enraged at things my younger parts feel or say. I seem to take my mother's point of view, and say, or even shout, things like, "she's disgusting!", "get rid of her!" At times like those, my analyst tries to show me, and the younger parts, how gently he wants to treat them. On days like those, he talks about my trying to understand and empathize with their point of view when I'm on my own, without him, At first, I thought it was sort of fake, and didn't want to even try to do it. However, when I finally began to try to do that, I was amazed at how much better it made me feel. He REALLY supports that, saying things like, "I know she appreciates how you are trying to empathize with her."

Another thing we have somehow begun to do is a sort of imaginary play therapy. I try to allow myself to be one of my younger selves, and then see what follows. Sometimes I end up on the floor, inviting my analyst to play various games with pretend animals, sticks, stones, earth, mud, flowers, etc. He enters right in- even getting down on the floor himself-after asking my permission. It sounds completely nutty to talk about, but it's really wonderful to do- the child part gets to express her pain, and things she's worried about, but then- the wonderful part, she gets to invent and imagine better solutions for things. He acts in such a natural, spontaneous manner- just reacting moment to moment as if he really were with six year old
pfinstegg. We are both definitely middle-aged, so..!

I think that's why the art therapy has come up at this point- another way for the young parts to be there, express themselves, and search for better interpersonal and emotional solutions than she found in reality long ago.

I think the hardest thing to do is to maintain hope through all of this- as you said. In a way, we're sort of falling apart in the hope of getting back together later in a healthier way. I have more ways of sustaining hope myself, now, but when I don't, my dear analyst says, "'I'll have it for both of us."




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