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Re: Started out as a short-term CBT patient

Posted by Daisym on September 29, 2004, at 10:19:28

In reply to Started out as a short-term CBT patient, posted by fallsfall on September 29, 2004, at 9:09:52

I can soooo relate to the being the "fairly easy" typical client who arrives in therapy with a boring list of "I'm unhappy with no real reason," "I don't handle stress like I use to," "my first child is leaving home in a few months and I'm not handling that well." He had me pegged for a midlife crisis and I agreed with him. Add in that those good communication skills and a lifetime of practice of hiding my true feelings...yeah, he got snowed. But I was snowing myself too. I didn't think I was such a mess, or maybe I didn't think this needed to be sorted out. Because I felt so different from the way I felt a year prior, I just assumed I needed to find the trail back, not find the trail out.

When I'm needy and demanding, I feel really guilty about how I started. I always wonder if he had known, would he have taken me on as a client? He says yes, that he does long-term trauma work, and that as a therapist you never know what you are going to get when you start working with someone. So I bet that is how your first therapist felt too.

I think we present as smart, articulate women who know enough about themselves that we look like we just need some direction and support to get things back on track. Plus, we have all these wonder drugs now that help "kick" depression. It is easy to forget that "knowing" the answer or seeing the solution doesn't mean you can take action towards success. Even more important, if you can force yourself to do certain things, like 10 hours, this doesn't mean you don't feel bad, or unhappy, while you are doing them.

As far as getting better quickly, I keep getting told that it took me 40 years to get to this spot, so why would it take 40 minutes to get to that spot over there...the one in the sunshine that I'm trying to reach. I struggle against this, "I should be better by now" demon every week. Part of it is longing to feel better, part of it is that need to be at the top of my class ALWAYS, even if it is my therapy class.

Why should you trust him? Because you do. It is as complicated and as simple as that. You might not trust his timelines (you experience tells you different) and you might not always trust that he has an answer, let alone "the" answer. BUT, you trust that he will help guide you and not leave you alone in the midst of all this. And you might not even trust this everyday. But overall, deep inside, he holds the hope of getting better, of healing, of feeling somewhat normal again.

It is OK to cling to that hope without concrete evidence. It is called faith. And it keeps us alive and fighting.

Keep fighting Falls. We need you. I need you.




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poster:Daisym thread:396776