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Re: ULTRA boundries! terrics

Posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 6:27:01

In reply to ULTRA boundries!, posted by terrics on September 28, 2004, at 20:15:37

> Does anyone else have a therapist that has such strong boundries that the only thing she will let you know about her is her name? It is so bad that when she yawned one day and I asked if she was tired she shot back 'haven't you ever seen any one yawn when they were not tired?' I think that question even stepped on her toes. I do not want her life story just something small like maybe she likes cantelope. Something to make her appear more human. terrics

Such an experience would make me very uncomfortable, and perhaps permanently so. I think it would poison any opportunity for me to move forward comfortably. That's my gut reaction.

If I was faced with such stringent boundaries, I would be concerned about the therapist's judgment. I would be concerned that they are themselves so poorly confident in their own boundaries that they set the line so high because it's easier to manage that way.

When I don't understand just what my therapist means about managing a challenge that we're talking about, he often uses examples from his own life or from his clinical experience. It humanizes what he wants me to think about. I know he has a wife who had an brain aneurysm, but I don't know anything that would identify her. She had it on 9/11, and I needed him real bad right then, and he wasn't available. It was the best and simplest answer to give me, IMHO. I know he has a patient who struggled with finding suitable work, but that could have been anybody. He hasn't violated anybody's confidentiality. He's giving me applied examples of a new way of thinking.

Someone who makes a big deal out of a yawn, in my opinion, needs therapy. Shouldn't be giving it. Should be getting it.





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