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Is my T doing this right??

Posted by shrinking violet on September 28, 2004, at 18:54:11

Hello everyone,

This may sound like such a dumb question, but this is the first time I've been in therapy and so I have no basis for comparison.

When my T or I bring up a topic, she seems to sort of gloss over it, and not go into it as deeply as she could. For example, we're currently working with a book that talks about childhood neglect/abandonment issues in the hopes of triggering some issues for me and make it easier to open up about some stuff. So, tonight we started a bit...I brought up the incident when I was five years old and talking to my grandmother (about what, I have no important could it have been, I was only five!); during the conversation, she had a heart attack and died. Now, to me, this would be fodder for at least a good 20 minute conversation (how I felt, how I feel, if I thought I caused it, etc). But, my T mentioned it a bit in the context of how my parents never talked to me about it in any way (not to ensure I didnt blame myself, not to talk about my first real experience with death, etc), and that was pretty much it. I was sort of dumbfounded, because she probably could have gotten a pretty good conversation out of it. She tends to do this with almost everything I bring up to her, whether in written form or verbally; she'll make some comments, maybe ask a few general questions, and then move onto the next page or topic.

Am I wrong? Do I not know enough of therapy to see that she's on target? Or is it MY responsibility to keep talking about the topic if I wanted to (a problem, as I usually let her lead in sessions, and I find it very hard talking about anything, let alone taking charge).

I don't know...I guess I feel like we never really work through anything, you know? But, considering my lack of therapy experience, I thought maybe it was just me being too critical or confused. Plus, she's a college T, and she doesn't usually work with clients long-term, let alone who have multiple complex deep issues. So, maybe she just isn't used to working with clients like me? Not that she's a bad T... she isn't perfect by any means, but I know she wouldn't purposefully harm me....just that maybe she is only experienced working with more surface-type issues?

Any input would be appreciated.

Oh, and a good thing: tonight she asked if I wanted to work with her past December (which means probably until May, when I graduate); up until now I thought I had to end with her in December, so it looks like I have a bit of a reprieve from termination! At least I hope....I keep wondering if I imagined it, or if she'll change her mind... :-/

Thanks :)




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