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Re: Reading a file after termination li hing

Posted by Lonely on September 25, 2004, at 16:40:21

In reply to Reading a file after termination, posted by li hing on September 24, 2004, at 3:16:38

My therapist died suddenly after 3 years with her. That really made things difficult because there were so many loose ends and no one else who knew about the relationship.

I asked the new therapist to get my records and even wrote a letter for her but she allegedly was not able to get them.

During the time I was seeing "C" (the therapist) we had many conflicts. Many of them revolved around things like "why do you think so and so said this or that OR why do you think that happened?" and the fact that I found it rather insulting and finally came to the point where I flat out told her that I didn't know and didn't really care. She informed me that she was putting that in my file. And she didn't say it in a nice way, either. She was putting other negative things in there too - I can't remember what all it was - but I think part of it had to do with the fact that she really shouldn't have been seeing me and needed to justify it. She was, I've come to realize and by remembering back on some sort've off-hand comments she made, keeping me there because she couldn't see me otherwise. There was also the fact that we miscommunicated often. We could use the same words and phrases but they obviously had different meanings and implications. I was often overwhelmed; she didn't make sense to me quite often. At the same time, there were definitely times of intense caring emotion between us.

The new "T" asked me if I wanted to see the records (I did not) and was concerned because, as she explained to me, often the things that are written in a patient's record can make the situation even more painful.

That brings up some other issues that I guess I've just stumbled on in my own thinking ... therapy and Al-Anon seem to focus mainly on "what's wrong" or negativity (whether it really is or not) rather than on support and emphasizing the positive. No wonder I never did really well with either one.

In my professional life I've come across a new concept called "Appreciative Inquiry" which is sort've based on the Pygmallion effect - people respond to images other people have of them. That's what therapists need to have more of. Unfortunately, I've found therapy to usually be anything but theraputic. Maybe therapists need to be evaluated more by their patients - kind've like the concept of 360 degree management.

> I also got to read my file that my old T kept for me. Yeah, I went back to the center and asked to see my file.
> My T that I thought cared about me and enjoyed working with me wrote so much mean stuff about me in there. It hurt so bad. It said stuff that I was noncomplient with antidepressants, that I had suicidal ideation. Nothing nice about me in there, yet in sessions she acted as if she liked having me as a client.
> She left the center. I'm so mad that she hurt me like this.




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poster:Lonely thread:368821