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Re: How'd it go today? tabitha

Posted by Racer on August 11, 2004, at 14:26:16

In reply to Re: How'd it go today? Dinah, posted by tabitha on August 11, 2004, at 2:24:36

Congratulations, Tabitha! I know that this is a major step for you, and I'm so very, very glad that you felt able to make a decision for yourself about it. Regardless of any future consequences -- which may never arise -- being able to make a decision and act on it is A Very Healthy Thing. It constitutes Progress. I very much hope that you can hold onto that shiny medal whenever any self-doubts arise for you about your decision.

As the others have said, I'm curious about what your therapist's reaction to this will be. I hope it's OK for you, whatever it is.

If it helps any, I've done the same thing in quitting therapy and in quitting a group. (That group was in the distant past, and I just announced one day that I was quitting, that it was my last session, despite the 'you have to attend all sessions, no matter what' short term group agreement -- it wasn't helping me, it was demoralizing me, so I quit for my own good. But it was hard to do it, I agonized over it, and did a lot of 'I shouldn't quit, I agreed not to quit before the group even started, etc' self-recrimination. And, I did a fair amount of self-bargaining about both sitatuations: "I won't quit, I'll -- grow a beard!" You know, I think, what I mean.) And quitting therapy with that therapist was agonizing. I'd been seeing her for years, we'd done some GREAT work together, I adored her, and I really thought that she was the best possible fit for me. And you know what? She *was* the best possible fit for me -- up to a point. We reached that point, and quitting was better than staying. (<<But that's hindsight, you know? Took years to get there.)

Tabitha, I wish we could give you a party, with cupcakes with lots of frosting, and balloons. I'm so very, very happy for you, for feeling able to make a decision about this for yourself. THAT, my dear, is priceless.




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