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Re: T didn't return my call... thewrite1

Posted by fallsfall on August 10, 2004, at 9:22:10

In reply to T didn't return my call..., posted by thewrite1 on August 9, 2004, at 23:53:28

I completely sympathize with your agony.

I know how important it is to just connect after a session like that. I'm thinking that your therapist understands this, too (I haven't read much of your posts, and so I don't have a feeling for your therapist - maybe I'm just projecting because your session sounds like mine have been recently, and I *do* know that my therapist understands that I need to connect afterwards).

Can I make a suggestion? I have found over my yearssss of therapy that therapists often respond literally to my instructions, even when I want them to respond to my unconscious plea instead. You posted that you said " I asked her to call me back if she has any input." in your phone message. But I think that maybe you really wanted her to call you even if she didn't have any input??? In almost all cases that I've heard about if you leave a message that says "Please call me back", the only time a therapist *doesn't* call you back is if they didn't get the message (which does happen). [The only times I can remember when this wasn't true was when the therapist was trying to wean the client from frequent phone calls - and the therapist was very explicit during the sessions about her willingness to return phone calls. Not that I agree with that... But that doesn't sound like it is your situation anyway.]

However, if I have left a message that says either "call me if you want to" or "you don't need to call" - often I don't get a call back. Could this be the case with your therapist?

Since you don't call often, and she hasn't complained to you that you call too much, I would think that your calling was quite appropriate.

If she doesn't call you early today, you might leave a second message that says that you do need a return call from her - this way if she didn't get the first message she will know you need to talk to her, and if she thought you didn't expect her to call back she'll know now that you do need a call. At one point I asked my therapist point blank "Do I call too often?" - he was flabbergasted, and that reaction told me that I truly didn't call too often, that he thought my calls were quite appropriate. So I know, for me, that I thought I was calling too much, but he sure didn't see it that way.

Your post really struck a chord with me - the rage, difficulty expressing anger, therapist pushing, isolating so you don't bite someone's head off... Your phone call sounds completely appropriate to me. I hope she calls back soon.




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