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Re: You are right, but... gardenergirl

Posted by AuntieMel on August 6, 2004, at 13:55:14

In reply to Re: You are right, but... AuntieMel, posted by gardenergirl on August 6, 2004, at 12:53:21

I give - what *does* a T hat look like? I'm picturing Micky's wizard hat in Fantasia. If I'm not close please let me keep my fantasy.....

Sorry, that last bit sounded like I was just wallowing in self pity, didn't it. Ok, I was, but every girl has a right to wallow once in a while.

Nothing much going on outside babble, actually. Except that I live what feels to me like a dull boring life (that most people would thank their lucky stars for). And I keep trying to find out what the heck is wrong with me - and finding out that the symptoms between disorders [add, depression, and scores of physical ailments] are the same or overlap. The meds and therapy are helping a lot with the depression except for a residual constant edgy-ness that drives me nuts, plus being easily distracted, having no short term memory to speak of - you know the drill....

But - here's the rub - I always had control over emotions. More than is healthy probably, but By God I was going to go through life with my chin up and NO one was going to know what is going on inside.

And that's the cruelest irony of all. Here I find myself struggling for an ideal, knowing it's a waste of time, but feeling that I need to do it anyway. And finding out that I actually *care* about the people here, and crying over the whole mess [when I haven't shed a tear in at least a couple of years.] So, something that should be trivial has affected my core.

Other than that - not much going on....




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poster:AuntieMel thread:373706